Fear as the Decider.

“I have yet to make a serious choice in my life birthed from fear that left me proud.”

An old coach from my youth made this his mantra. This year, I’ve worked hard to make it mine, failing constantly in my self-perception, my health, my journey to walk again, to return to the work place, to realistically consider loyalties and friendships as impervious to all this. The unspoken truth amidst all of this is that fear is the magic bullet of the oppressors of our era; fear keeps us in check, even as it builds a rabid army of the afraid.

But I’m trying. And then there’s that Green Lantern ring, right alongside the words of Jesus. Faith isn’t an absence of fear, but instead a trust that breaks fear’s hold on you. Willpower is not the absence of fear, but the ability to overcome it.

Hal Jordan and Jesus Christ would be friends.

I watch the words of Christianity be warped into a rictus that does nothing but punch down and weaponize the fears of others, and I wait for this paper court of horrors to fall apart. Similarly, I wait for all of us, especially those I love, to put faith in something stronger than their fears in this dark reign of national leadership.

I have to believe we have better days ahead. We can’t lead the path from taking steps in fear.

No evil shall escape my sight. Let’s do this.

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